My kids are just reaching the¬†stage where they are capable of helping out around the house.¬†¬†The oldest of my kids (now in grade three) can make his bed without much difficulty, brush his own teeth (if you don’t mind a little yellow), understand the difference between cleaning his room and stuffing everything under the bed, and can clear a plate without spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor (which sadly, is usually¬†still dirty from the night before.)¬† The younger two, while not quite as capable, are old enough to follow his lead and willing to work for anything that¬†promises¬†a reward.¬†

Allowances simply faded away, chore charts ripped down, treats eaten and then long forgotten.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve tried in vain to enforce regular duties for them.¬†¬†Rewards have ranged from¬†a weekly allowance to food bribery to sticker charts.¬† In the end, however, nothing ever stuck.¬† I’m as much to blame as my kids for our inability to stick it out.¬† My efforts too often fizzled after a couple of weeks when I would tire of my begging them to keep up the effort.¬† Allowances simply faded away, chore charts ripped down, treats eaten and then long forgotten.¬† Every once in a while, when my son was feeling the need to buy¬†himself a little something special, he would lament the disappearance of his allowance and ask what happened to it.¬†¬†I would reply with a sigh, what happened to making your bed?¬† We’d both shrug our shoulders and return to whatever we were doing.¬†

Many parents are against the whole allowance concept.¬† They claim that¬†it teaches children entitlement, rather than encourages them to appreciate¬†their¬†contribution as a natural part of the household community.¬† I understand that thinking, but I don’t buy it.¬† Maybe that’s because I hate to clean almost as much as my kids do.¬†¬†I wonder,¬†what’s wrong with motivating a child to do something that nobody enjoys doing?¬† They’re still learning the importance of doing their duty, and doing it well.¬† My main problem with allowance in our¬†house is¬†the degree to which they are actually earning their keep.¬† I have trouble doling out a few bucks every Sunday when I see little evidence that they did anything the preceding six days of the week.¬† Or worse, if I had to constantly remind them¬†to clean their rooms, clear their dishes, empty the recycle bin¬†- in ever increasing decibels.

I’ve finally created a chore schedule that works for our family – it really works.¬† With it, my kids earn an allowance based on what they’ve done throughout the week.¬† And, because cash in the hands of young’uns is consumed like chocolate on Halloween (they don’t remember how it went so fast, and are soon asking for more), they¬†pick an item that they’d like buy and its price becomes their earnings goal.¬† Once they’ve earned enough dollars, we go to the store.¬† Our latest purchase was a PC video game controller.¬† It took them about four weeks to earn it.

Here’s how it works.¬† One chart indicates exactly what chores are expected of each child and on what days of the week.¬† This is essential, as it prevents fighting over who did it yesterday or three days ago – everyone knows who has to do what, when.¬† So, Monday to Sunday are lined across the top and the chores are listed down the first column.¬† My oldest child’s name is in the most boxes because he is the most capable, next my middle child, and my youngest has only a few boxes.¬† Naturally, the eldest has the potential to earn the most money since he has the most duties to fulfill.¬† Here’s a pdf that you can look at to get an idea of how it works. I recommend creating your own in excel or word, but feel free to use this one, if you wish.¬† helpschedule

In addition, each child gets his or her own¬†Points Chart.¬† This will be printed off at the beginning of every week and keeps track of how many points each child earns.¬† Parents need not chase their child around the house to enforce the bedmaking rule.¬† If the bed’s not made, Julie gets no point (I use signatures in these boxes so that the most impish of my kids can’t fake a point.)¬† At the end of every week, the points are talllied and added onto the next week’s chart.¬† You need to determine how many stars equal a dollar.¬† In our household, they earn one dollar for every eight “signatures” earned.¬† No one’s getting rich, but it’s enough to keep a young boy motivated.¬† Here’s a pdf that shows how this chart will look for each child.¬† Again – I recommend creating your own chart, as each family has different chores depending on the age of children and just how much work is expected by the parents.¬†¬†pointschart¬†

I hang the charts up on a kitchen cupboard for them all to see.

I still nag my kids – if I could eliminate that with an easy-to-follow system, I’d sell it!¬†¬†After all, I can’t put every little thing they do on a chore chart (putting on your boots to go outside is a necessity, not a chance to earn money), and that inevitably leads to the nag cycle.¬† However, when I remind them that they won’t earn a signature if they don’t set the table that night, they’re quite willing to do what they have to do.¬† They often count their points to see how far along they’ve come toward attaining their financial goals (read: earn enough money to buy a new DS game.)¬† Just¬†don’t try to talk them into putting their hard-earned money into a savings account¬†- that’s a motivation killer.

My childhood is packed with memories of driving to Florida with my parents and four siblings.¬† Back then, we’d squeeze into the station wagon, luggage roped atop, with books, games, and music to keep ourselves amused.¬† Perhaps it’s because of my fond memories of sitting in the backseat of the wagon that I’ve continued the tradition of driving to Florida with my husband and three young boys.¬†

This past spring we drove there for the third time in three years.¬† When we tell our friends and neighbours that we’re driving south, their response is typically an incredulous “You’re driving?¬† With three kids? How do you do it?”¬† Well, it’s really not that hard, thanks in part to electronic gadgets, rooftop carriers, and Map Quest. ¬†Over the years, my husband and I have¬†learned a few¬†things about how to survive a lengthy car ride with young kids – without losing our marbles.¬† Here’s the skinny on what works for us:¬†

• Electronic gadgets – Throw your nostalgia for the good ol’ days aside and purchase a portable DVD player (hand-held electronic games, such as the Leapster, are also a worthy addition to the car entertainment arsenal).¬† Face it – if a grown up needs to watch a full-length feature film during a three-hour flight, shouldn’t some antsy kids be allowed to watch a few Sponge Bob flicks over a 22-hour drive?
• If ever there’s a time to break the healthy eating rules, it’s now.¬† Carrots and rice crackers just won’t suffice.¬† I hate buying junk food, but nothing stops a chorus of backseat whiners like a pack of dunkaroos.
• A good throw – the immobility of children fastened into car seats requires an accurate toss to ensure that granola bar (I don’t only buy junk food!) lands on their lap, not in the no-man’s-land between the front and back seat of a mini-van.
• Hit the road before the sun rises – not because the kids will sleep for the first four hours (they won’t) – so you can squeeze in as much of the drive as possible during the first day, and more importantly, before they start asking “Are we there yet?”
• Expect the unexpected.¬† During our first road trip to Florida, we discovered our three-year-old had car sickness.¬† Between Pennsylvania and Georgia, he’d vomited six times (sans barf bag.)¬† A poor sense of smell comes in handy too.
• Keep on driving – don’t “spoil” them with a plane ticket.¬† Our kids have grown so accustomed to long road trips that they barely require our attention anymore.¬† And, as long as they stay naively unaware of the convenience and comfort of an airplane, we don’t have to answer the question: “Why can’t we just fly there?”

A version of this article was published in the National Post in 2007.

Ever wonder why the marketers have so much power to sway your child’s preferences?¬† Well, watch this video and you’ll see for yourself.¬† It’s the perfect David versus Goliath scenario.¬† Mom and Dad’s voices cannot possibly compete with the omnipresence of a multibillion dollar investment in advertising and marketing research devoted to children.¬† The following video is quite long (about 10 minutes) but worth the time.¬†

What can parents do to offset the effects of advertising? 

1. Do not take part in marketing research of any kids. 
2. Help your kids understand that the advertisements they see have only one purpose in mind Рto make money.  Other than making a profit, they have no interest in the well-being of the children to whom they market. 
3. Voice your concerns, as a parent.  Visit this web site http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org  to stay apprised of what is happening in the advertising industry, and look for opportunities to sign petitions or write letters to corporations that you believe are undermining your job as a parent.