Thank You Internet For Introducing My Son to Dumb Blonde Jokes

May 03

Boys love to tell jokes. They’re naturally good at it, too. As a teenager, I laughed my way (batted my eye lashes) through many guys’ jokes from the truly funny to the slightly offensive, and the “I don’t get it but I’ll pretend I do and laugh anyways” jokes. Now, with three boys of my own jockeying to be crowned funniest kid on the block, the male instinct to toss out one-liners for a few chuckles is more obvious to me than ever. And thanks to the internet, there are a zillion resources for fine-tuning their fledgeling comedy acts. Unfortunately, not all resources are of stellar comedic value.

Leave it to my oldest son (who is 11) to find a website devoted to dumb blonde jokes, now a mainstay in his joke arsenal.  (Ah, remember when kids used to be at least fourteen before they started telling offensive blonde one-liners? Kids start so much younger these days…)

I learned about his new skill a couple days ago while I was cooking dinner. He scooted into the kitchen with a smile on his face, and clearly energized about something.

Son: “Mom, I gotta joke to tell you.”

Me: *Sigh* “Okay.” (cutting carrots)

Son: Okay! (Lifts iPod to his face and starts reading) There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane.

Me: Wait a second. Is this a dumb blonde joke? Really? You’re telling me a dumb blonde joke? (Rolls eyes and keeps cutting carrots)

Son: (Chuckles) Well, ya. Okay… (goes back to reading his iPod) The lawyer kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

Me: Why do you think it’s okay to tell jokes about blondes? Why not tell jokes about brunettes?

Son: Well, I dunno. It’s not as funny.

Me: Why isn’t it funny?

Son: Because it just isn’t. Let me finish the joke.  The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?” Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.

Me: You know that I’m blonde, right?

Son: No, you’re not blonde. Your hair is, like, darker. Not, like, really, really blonde.

Yeah, I'm blonde, even if it's chemically enhanced.

Me: I’m blonde. And, where are you getting this joke?

Son: Oh, there’s this awesome website CoolBlondeJokes.com. It’s got a bunch of really funny jokes.

Me: Of course there is. (Oh goody)

Son: Just let me finish the joke.  Then the blonde asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?” The lawyer was puzzled and looking up everything he could on his laptop and making air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00.The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

Me: (A small laugh) Okay, that’s not too bad. But I still don’t think you should tell blonde jokes. Don’t you think some of the girls in your class with blonde hair might be offended.

Son: (Shrugs) No. They’re funny!

I returned to my dinner-making as he rattled off another couple of jokes. Some battles, I decided, just aren’t worth fighting. I realized that of all the horrible influences offered on the internet, dumb blonde jokes are pretty low on the totem pole of concerns. And, anyways, it would probably replace their ‘Yo Mama’ one-liners that they’d taken a liking to (courtesy of, you guessed it… the internet) which were actually pretty damn funny. Even for an old school Mama, like me.

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2 comments

  1. Did you know there was more than one kind of blond genetically? Just picked this up for Homecoming’s facebook page. http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn21779-blond-hair-evolved-independently-in-pacific-islands.html

  2. I so get this! I’m a mom of four boys — ages 6, 9, 11 and 14 — and just like you, I’m trying to teach bigger life lessons in the face of boys and Internet/adolescent humor. Have your boys found the YouTube shows yet?

    Jenny
    Fellow Blogathon 2012 participant

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