My kids want stuff.  They want lots and lots of stuff.  When Pokemon had a revival, they needed to buy trading cards.  Those odd little Bakugan balls littered our house during that craze.  And, of course, with every new electronic gadget that’s introduced to the market (through tv commercials and their friends with overly generous parents) comes a chorus of “Pleeeeeeease, can we have it?”

I’ve always had one simple solution to the incessant begging for STUFF.  Shop alone.  The kids stay at home (or they’re at school) when I go to the mall, or the grocery store, or the toy store, or even the garden store (where my 6-year old begs for the super size gumballs in that machine by the front doors.)  Right now, they are crazy for some new item called Silly Bands.  And, for some reason, my eldest son, now 10 years old, has always been the biggest slave to toy trends.  When his friends showed up at school wearing those brightly coloured bands, that very day he came home determined to get to the store.

His persistence paid off, as it so often does, and by the weekend I was whisking them off to Mastermind so they could spend their allowance money on these Silly Bands.  So enamored was my eldest with his purchase that even before we’d returned home, he was crafting his plan to buy a second batch.  Whoa, there.  I was not about to let that happen.  I repelled his multiple requests by responding that I would not be taking him to the store any time soon so he could waste more money on his “silly” item.  He understood.  No mommy taxi, no shopping.

This has always been my fall-back plan when the kids are begging to buy something that I don’t want them to have.  When they were really young, it was even easier.  “Oh darn, I’m sorry, but we can’t go to the mall.  It’s closed.”  It could have been 2:30 in the afternoon on Boxing Day, they’d believe me.  Now, they are all old enough to realize that they’re simply immobile without my consent.  

My ten-year old does not give up easily, however.  And he came home two days ago with a brave new idea (gleaned from other conspiring 10-year olds at school) to order his coveted Silly Bands necklace on EBay.  He even threw in the old “And it’s even cheaper on EBay than at the store, Mom”.  Ah, he knows how much I love a good sale.  I couldn’t argue that the store was closed.  Nor could I say that I hadn’t the time to drive him.  Not even the really lame, but much utilized standby: Yeah, sure, in another few days when we can fit it in to our day, okay?” 

I had no excuses left to get myself off the hook.  So, I did the only thing I could to stop the purchase from happening.  I simply said “No.”   Okay, I said it about ten times.  (Did I not mention he’s persistent?)  But my resolve is apt to weaken over time.  After all, he is his mother’s son: he loves to shop.  And now he even knows how to accessorize.

My kids are just reaching the¬†stage where they are capable of helping out around the house.¬†¬†The oldest of my kids (now in grade three) can make his bed without much difficulty, brush his own teeth (if you don’t mind a little yellow), understand the difference between cleaning his room and stuffing everything under the bed, and can clear a plate without spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor (which sadly, is usually¬†still dirty from the night before.)¬† The younger two, while not quite as capable, are old enough to follow his lead and willing to work for anything that¬†promises¬†a reward.¬†

Allowances simply faded away, chore charts ripped down, treats eaten and then long forgotten.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve tried in vain to enforce regular duties for them.¬†¬†Rewards have ranged from¬†a weekly allowance to food bribery to sticker charts.¬† In the end, however, nothing ever stuck.¬† I’m as much to blame as my kids for our inability to stick it out.¬† My efforts too often fizzled after a couple of weeks when I would tire of my begging them to keep up the effort.¬† Allowances simply faded away, chore charts ripped down, treats eaten and then long forgotten.¬† Every once in a while, when my son was feeling the need to buy¬†himself a little something special, he would lament the disappearance of his allowance and ask what happened to it.¬†¬†I would reply with a sigh, what happened to making your bed?¬† We’d both shrug our shoulders and return to whatever we were doing.¬†

Many parents are against the whole allowance concept.¬† They claim that¬†it teaches children entitlement, rather than encourages them to appreciate¬†their¬†contribution as a natural part of the household community.¬† I understand that thinking, but I don’t buy it.¬† Maybe that’s because I hate to clean almost as much as my kids do.¬†¬†I wonder,¬†what’s wrong with motivating a child to do something that nobody enjoys doing?¬† They’re still learning the importance of doing their duty, and doing it well.¬† My main problem with allowance in our¬†house is¬†the degree to which they are actually earning their keep.¬† I have trouble doling out a few bucks every Sunday when I see little evidence that they did anything the preceding six days of the week.¬† Or worse, if I had to constantly remind them¬†to clean their rooms, clear their dishes, empty the recycle bin¬†- in ever increasing decibels.

I’ve finally created a chore schedule that works for our family – it really works.¬† With it, my kids earn an allowance based on what they’ve done throughout the week.¬† And, because cash in the hands of young’uns is consumed like chocolate on Halloween (they don’t remember how it went so fast, and are soon asking for more), they¬†pick an item that they’d like buy and its price becomes their earnings goal.¬† Once they’ve earned enough dollars, we go to the store.¬† Our latest purchase was a PC video game controller.¬† It took them about four weeks to earn it.

Here’s how it works.¬† One chart indicates exactly what chores are expected of each child and on what days of the week.¬† This is essential, as it prevents fighting over who did it yesterday or three days ago – everyone knows who has to do what, when.¬† So, Monday to Sunday are lined across the top and the chores are listed down the first column.¬† My oldest child’s name is in the most boxes because he is the most capable, next my middle child, and my youngest has only a few boxes.¬† Naturally, the eldest has the potential to earn the most money since he has the most duties to fulfill.¬† Here’s a pdf that you can look at to get an idea of how it works. I recommend creating your own in excel or word, but feel free to use this one, if you wish.¬† helpschedule

In addition, each child gets his or her own¬†Points Chart.¬† This will be printed off at the beginning of every week and keeps track of how many points each child earns.¬† Parents need not chase their child around the house to enforce the bedmaking rule.¬† If the bed’s not made, Julie gets no point (I use signatures in these boxes so that the most impish of my kids can’t fake a point.)¬† At the end of every week, the points are talllied and added onto the next week’s chart.¬† You need to determine how many stars equal a dollar.¬† In our household, they earn one dollar for every eight “signatures” earned.¬† No one’s getting rich, but it’s enough to keep a young boy motivated.¬† Here’s a pdf that shows how this chart will look for each child.¬† Again – I recommend creating your own chart, as each family has different chores depending on the age of children and just how much work is expected by the parents.¬†¬†pointschart¬†

I hang the charts up on a kitchen cupboard for them all to see.

I still nag my kids – if I could eliminate that with an easy-to-follow system, I’d sell it!¬†¬†After all, I can’t put every little thing they do on a chore chart (putting on your boots to go outside is a necessity, not a chance to earn money), and that inevitably leads to the nag cycle.¬† However, when I remind them that they won’t earn a signature if they don’t set the table that night, they’re quite willing to do what they have to do.¬† They often count their points to see how far along they’ve come toward attaining their financial goals (read: earn enough money to buy a new DS game.)¬† Just¬†don’t try to talk them into putting their hard-earned money into a savings account¬†- that’s a motivation killer.