We all sit on our butts too much these days. Between our office job, Googling, Facebooking, playing video games, and watching TV, few of us can complain that we don’t get enough opportunity to just sit and relax. This habit of parking our rears is apparent through all generations – from young to old. In fact, one of the biggest dangers of the internet and digital technology may be it’s negative effect on our health.

Here are some interesting statistics about the state of our health due to sedentary living, as compiled by U.S.-based organization Medical Billing and Coding:

• The average North American sits 9.3 hours per day (versus 7.7 hours of sleep);
• A person who sits more than six hours per day is up to 40% more likely to die within 15 years than someone who sits less than three hours;
• Those who sit three hours or more per day watching TV are 64% more likely to die from heart disease, and;
• Of those who watch three hours per day, those who exercise are no slimmer than those who don’t.

The solution to our life-shortening habits is, actually, quite simple. We need to turn off the TV, or whatever screen engages us most, and get off the couch. The Canadian Physical Activity Guidelines recommend kids include at least one hour of physical activity per day, and adults at least 2.5 hours per week. These may be helpful for some, but how many parents are actually keeping track of their kids’ activity? Probably very few. Rather than wringing hands over the amount of time kids are getting vigorous exercise, parents might be better off keeping track of how many hours their kids are sitting watching TV, YouTube videos, or playing video games. Less time in front of a screen will likely translate to more time on their feet.

A new word has popped up in the English language that truly defines the digital culture in which we are now all living.  Sousveillance.  Unlike surveillance, in which we are watched by those from above (government, police), sousveillance is the monitoring of events by those “below” – that is, regular folks like you and me: Aunt Martha, a passing stranger, and that annoying kid from down the street that you’ve never really liked.

When cameras first came onto the scene, worries abounded over the likelihood that Big Brother would invade our personal space, forcing citizens to consider their every move lest they upset the powers above.  As it turns out, it’s the people surrounding us in our every day lives that have the greater capability to sully our reputations or applaud our heroics.  Admit it – you’ve nervously glanced around to ensure no one videotaped you tearing a strip off your eight-year-old.  (He deserved it, of course, but YouTube videos don’t typically offer context around their one-minute snippets).

I cringe when I see teenagers behaving badly in front of the camera.  I thought I behaved well back then, too.  I didn’t.  It wasn’t until I hit my mid-30′s and started raising my own kids that I fully understood how self-absorbed, overly emotional, and embarrassingly I behaved on occasion.  Thank God there is not a shred of proof.  Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for today’s kids.  Filmed mistakes will live for all of cyber-eternity for way too many of them (cue the sad-faced emoticon).

There is a teachable lesson here.  Teach kids responsible use of the camera.  I encourage my kids to make videos to their heart’s content.  After all, video is now one of the most celebrated forms of art whether it’s worthy of that accolade or not.  At the same time, I remind them to do so responsibly.  Does the video portray anyone in a negative light?  Is personal information exposed in the video that may put anyone in peril? Will the video destroy someone’s reputation?  Although my kids are still too young to truly understand some of these concepts, I believe the more I talk about responsible use of a camera, the more likely they’ll ask themselves these questions as they grow older.

On the flip side, my kids are reminded to monitor their actions when the camera lens is on them.  What may seem hilarious to a kid and his three buddies, can explode into an angry backlash by another (often much larger) audience.  Kids should ask themselves: Do they trust the person behind the camera?  Does he or she post every video onto YouTube the second it’s filmed?  Would he or she want thousands of strangers to see them behave this way? The great thing about acting like an ding-dong the odd time is that your few witnesses either forget about it over time or simply stop talking to you.  That’s not the case if it’s on video and reaches 331,457 views on YouTube.  Ouch.

I know I can’t prevent my kids from building a cyber-album of their journey through childhood to teenage-hood, but hopefully I can help them create one that is more flattering than embarrassing.  One in which they can look back at and laugh, rather than sob.

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Encourage Responsibility In Front of, and Behind, Camera

A timer is helpful for two purposes.  One, it releases the parent from having to constantly check the clock to ensure that she does not let that promised half hour of computer time drift into two hours (my how time flies when the kids are quiet).  Second, it allows the kids to take control of the amount of time they have been allowed to play the digital device – this is particularly important when the device is being shared among impatient kids.

The one recurring theme that comes up in most of the squabbles among my boys is the concept of fairness.  Because I have three boys close in age, they are forever being forced to share the one thing that they all want RIGHT NOW.  The up side to having three kids a few years apart is that they always have one another to play with. The down side is that they often want to use the same damn thing.   This is especially true when it comes to playing the one computer, or the one iPad, or my one iPhone.  Of course, it’s not limited to just digital entertainment.  They’d rather destroy a single lollipop than have to suffer the fate of watching just one kid savour the globe of delight. Fairness is king in our hyper-competitive household.  And, if even one of my kids suspects that another has a smidgen more than the others, look out – there will be blood.

I’ve learned the easiest way to eliminate myself from refereeing their actions is to give them the power to referee themselves.  Yes, it’s that easy!  For my Apple devices, I prefer to use a timer app. There are several of them available, but I use the very basic free app called Timer+.   Parents can quickly set up different times depending on how long they typically allow each child to play. I set up an alarm called “BoysPlay” for 30 minutes.  My boys have no problem starting the timer as their turn begins.  As long as each of them gets the EXACT SAME AMOUNT OF TIME, everyone can breathe easy.  When the timer is up, a sound alarms and the device moves on to the next gamer.  Works like a charm.

For video game consoles or the computer, a good idea is to purchase a small portable timer that the kids can use themselves.  Again, if sharing is involved, the kids will police themselves well.  On the other hand, if all three kids are playing together (aw, how nice!) the onus falls a bit more on the parent.  You’d better double check that timer.  If the time they’re allowed to play is one hour, they’ll very likely muffle the sound of the alarm when it goes off if you’re not around to hear it ’cause the only thing worse than kids divided against one another is kids united against Mom or Dad.

Image: Carlos Porto / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I am a huge advocate for teaching kids self-censorship. In an age where every kind of image not previously known to man has ended up on a screen, all of us (adults and kids) need to accept responsibility for what we choose – or choose not – to view.  My personal weakness is cheesy commercials posted on YouTube.

That being said, no child should be exposed to much of the content posted online. I’ve seen enough stuff to make me scratch my head, how can I expect someone a couple decades my junior to understand and process such images themselves? In fact, the thought of my kids viewing some of the disturbing images out there (Rihanna videos included), gives me the heeby-jeebies. I’ve accepted that I can’t protect them from lousy boy bands and the song “Friday” by Rebecca Black, but there are some things on the internet that I don’t want them to accidentally fall upon.

So, here’s the good news. Every screen, whether hand-held or hanging above the fireplace, offers parental controls. Yes, even your television has them. Spend a few minutes out of every day over the next week playing around with the settings of the devices shared with the kids. Keep in mind: every parental control requires you to create a pass-code.  Write it down and save it. Trust me – you’ll forget.

The computer is the most difficult of the devices to filter. It requires software that, most likely, will need to be downloaded from a website. After many failed efforts at installing family-friendly filters, I’ve found one by Norton that is perfect.  And it’s FREE. Norton Family is easy to install, does not slow down your computer, and is ridiculously simple to use. Check it out here.

Below are some how-to links for setting up controls on various game consoles and hand-held devices. Typically, it’s as simple as clicking into the settings and finding the menu item for safety controls. And, don’t worry about having to curtail your own online habits (should they include some racier content), all the settings are a cinch to remove for adult use.  Just don’t forget the password!

Wii

iPod, iPad, iPhone

Nintendo DSi

Playstation 3

Xbox 360

Today, I received a sad Facebook message from my cousin relaying news about a young family member. I am only sharing this to help all parents recognize that no child is completely immune to the traumatic effects of cyberbullying.

Here’s what the message said (names have been altered):

Dear Tracy:
I remembered you sent a message to Alison and John once about bullying. I just wanted to ask for your prayers. Alison has been cyberbullied and picked on and last night she tried to commit suicide. I am on my way to the hospital in Seattle to see her, they sent us home last night and we can only come during certain hours as she is getting therapy. Could you please ask family to pray for her. We almost didn’t get help in time. We need prayers. Alison is an honor student, a volunteer and an amazing girl. Bullying is bad just like you said. We need prayers, Alison feels so alone and helpless against the bullies that she wanted to not live. Please ask for prayers for her. Thanks you T, Mary

Of course, not every parent’s teenage child will react the same way, nor will every teenage child be bullied to the extreme as this girl was. However, that doesn’t change the reality that all parents should talk to their kids regularly about what’s going “down” on Facebook.

While chatting about the online social scene may not prevent tragedy, at the very least, it opens the door to honest discussions about how digital gossip may or may not be hurting your daughter or son… or whether your child’s actions are hurting others. The last thing we should be thinking is “it’ll never happen to my kid.”  Because it just might.

Consider these facts:

42% of kids have been bullied while online

53% of kids admit having been mean or hurtful to another person online

58% of kids have not told their parents or an adult about a hurtful incident that happened online

Statistics from i-Safe (2003-2004)